Last week, I took my niece and my sister to the theater, and on the one-hour (plus) drive to DC from Frederick, I thought about what I wanted to listen to. I went through a mental scan of musicians and music types and moods to try to think of what I wanted to listen to, and then remembered, my niece is in the car, and I want her to have as much Spanish as possible– new mental scan to filter for what to listen to [IN SPANISH].

Similarly, I love to read. And so, like most people, I think about what I just read, what I hear is popular, what I am in the mood to read, etc. And then, I realize that I also have to consider that as a Diasporican, I am not surrounded by my language and culture, and growing up outside of Puerto Rico, I didn’t learn about it in school. So then I have to do a new mental scan to filter for what to read to learn more about Puerto Rican culture and history, and which language I should read it in. Do I read it in Spanish to practice my Spanish and know it will take me twice as long because historical and political concepts can be a challenge for me in English as well, or take what feels like an L reading it in English to focus on content, not Spanish proficiency?

When I go to watch a show, movie, or podcast, it’s the same challenge as above.

Context

I often talk about how living in an English-dominant society affects the amount and type of language we hear and read, which in turn contributes to our understanding and confidence in speaking.

So when people tell me they want to increase their practice and start thinking more directly in Spanish, my recommendation is to increase their input.

And I’m not alone. Everyone says, “just watch shows in Spanish”, “listen to music in Spanish”, “change your phone into Spanish” (I strongly don’t recommend doing this one. It will frustrate you more than help you).

The Problem

The problem is that it takes research, planning, and a lot of intentionality to do that.

Finding a show you like is hard enough; now you have to do it in Spanish (and ideally from the country you’re trying to align your listening practice with).

Finding a book you like is hard enough; now you have to do it in Spanish AND make sure your reading level is aligned with the text.

It’s a lot to consider.

Loving Reminder

So I’m here to remind you that: It is as hard as you think it is.

Not exactly the clickbaity line you were hoping for, I’m sure. But it is important to acknowledge that when people are selling you three easy ways to practice Spanish, and it doesn’t feel easy, you start to think you are the problem. And you’re not. It is hard.

Reality Check

Having multiple identities and trying to balance and honor those identities is a challenge. There are some people who live their days and think nothing about the work that they have to do on themselves to connect with their language and their culture, and they just get to turn on the newest podcast that they are in the mood to listen to without a care in the world about what language it’s in or the topic it covers. They don’t have to think about how they are catching up on learning about their people’s history and culture (because they learned it in school or don’t care). They don’t have to think about whether the background music should be in a certain language, so they can pass their language to their children or nieces and nephews, because they are swimming in their culture. And they will never understand what it feels like to have your identity and interests pulled in different directions, because their identities are not competing with simplistic narratives about “Where are you from?” or “Do you speak Spanish?”

However, those of us who are reclaiming language and culture do have to be mindful of this. And it is hard. It is more work. But it does give us an opportunity to reframe our thinking from a place of lack to one of abundance. Instead of doubting identities, claim them all.

Ni de aquí, Ni de allá Reframed

The phrase “No soy de aquí ni de allá” has been used to address the complicated feelings of not belonging to either a home culture or a new culture. But many Latinos are reclaiming their belonging with an understanding that the diasporic experience is not less than, it just is. Mitú Media and Becky G, in her documentary (Rebecca), identify this as “being 200%”: 100% from here and 100% from there (Mexico, Puerto Rico, etc.). This reminds me of when partnerships say, “It’s not about putting in 50/50; it’s about coming in whole to share life with another person.” I do not have to minimize any part of my identity for other parts to shine.

And with this reframing, how rich do we see those people who identify as 100% in their multiple and varied identities, not competing but instead co-existing into a 1000% one-of-a-kind version of me.

Practice

So with this, I offer a few reminders to practice the above:

1. When you are stuck between indecision about which input to consume (read, listen, watch), consider the objective and what is available.
2. Flow between language objectives and culture objectives.
3. Claim and celebrate your full, complex, and unique identity.

Conclusion

Those of us who claim multiple languages, cultures, and identities have to think about how to balance all of this, and it feels hard, because it is hard. Pero como dice mami, “es difícil, pero no es imposible”. We got this. Pa’lante siempre.

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