When I was in high school, I was invited to participate in a group called Hermanas Unidas. It was a group that the counselors created to satisfy what they felt was a need to unite and/or “support” the Latinas in the school. We came together and were encouraged to share our metas (goals). The idea was well-meaning but it was awkward and forced. The Latino experience is so wildly varied that the counselors didn’t have the resources or take the time to understand that you cannot simply bring a group of Latinas together and expect them to bond, any more than you can with any other group of strangers. One notable area of concern was the lack of consideration for how the Spanish language influences identity. They sprinkled a couple of words in Spanish here and there. Still, the session wasn’t run by a Latina and/or Spanish speaker, so you can imagine the limitations on the session dynamics. 

Context

In Spanglish, Ed Morales states, “Latinos are united by language, but divided into wildly varying nationalities with often conflicting agendas. One between first-generation immigrants and American citizens of varying levels of assimilation, and more between Caribbean Latinos, who are more influenced by African culture; Mexican/Central American Latinos who are more influenced by Indigenous Meso-American cultures; and South Americans, whose societies tend to be more Eurocolonial in tenor.” (p.27)

While I agree with the conflicting agendas, I would push back against Morales’ notion that Latinos are united around language. The linguistic features that align with his sociohistorical descriptions are also part of the conflicting experiences and agendas. Additionally, the use of Spanglish as a tool to communicate with various audiences is often only permissible if 1) you have shown excellence in proficiency for both of the languages as individual languages, and/or 2) if you are in an audience that lives in the inbetweeness of two languages and cultures on an everyday basis so they know better than to police the use of language mixing since they recognize the complexity of the diasporic experience. 

Practice

I was recently speaking with friends about the ever-present dilemma of “enough-ness”. Puerto Rican “enough”. Latino “enough”. Spanish-speaking “enough”. Smart “enough”. The list goes on. 

We discussed how the nature of this game is a losing battle because, by someone else’s metrics, your identity changes.

“You’re Puerto Rican, but were you born there?” 

“Did you live there?” 

“Do you still live there?” 

“But were you there for X event?” 

“Do you speak Spanish?”

“How much?”

We, Latinos, do ourselves a disservice when we limit others’ self-identification due to our expectations of their language abilities. But more importantly, we do ourselves a disservice when we let others’ perceptions limit how we identify ourselves. 

If that High School group had made more space for the complexity of identities, especially as a Latina in the US suburbs, I would have been able to appreciate our similarities as well as differences because there wasn’t the heavy expectation of a monolithic experience. 

Conclusion

My friends in HS were a range of backgrounds, including Boricua, Jewish, Korean, Indian, Pakistani, Black, White, Mixed, Vietnamese, etc. Through different foods, eccentric moms, long-winded dads, and secret home languages that your friends thought were cool but couldn’t understand, we were able to establish our own identity instead of feeling pressure to conform to expectations. 

Don’t get me wrong, growing up and as a young adult, I felt a longing for more community with other Puerto Ricans. I even had it (to some extent) in specific spaces, such as church (when we attended), events with other Puerto Ricans in the area, and the occasional Latino festival, but not as much as I would have wanted.

Part of what made me hesitant in the Hermanas Unidas group, as much as in other spaces in life, was the expectation to present myself as the “right version” of my Latino self. It took me longer than I would have liked to discover my Latinidad. However, when I did realize it, it helped me not only honor my unique experiences but also connect with my Boricua and Latino community on a deeper and more meaningful level.