When we are embarrassed or unsure about something, our instinct is to hide, avoid doing it, and not discuss it with anyone. If we expose our uncertainty, we make ourselves vulnerable to being hurt by others confirming our insecurities. And as an astrological Cancer, no one can empathize more than wanting to stay warm, cozy, and safe in our home rather than going out into the scary world that tends to get more frightening the more time goes by. 

But the thing is that if you don’t name it, you can’t reclaim it. I’d love to give credit to whoever said that first, but I’m not sure, so I repeat and share with you all because the reality is that the best way to reaffirm how much power, agency, and ability you have is by naming your fears and then figuring out baby steps to work towards building your capacity. 

Context

This year, I have had the honor of meeting many people who, like myself, at one point or another, felt insecure in their Latina-ness/Puerto Rican-ness due to their language abilities. And I have been blown away at 1) their initiative to practice their language and culture despite doubt, and 2) how much language ability they have that they felt discouraged from sharing. 

This weekend, specifically, I saw people connect at the Sip & Speak event, hosted at Tola’s Room, as they made new friends and strengthened old bonds. The group was guided through the space, where Christina, the curator and resident artist, described her healing process through art, culture, and, with this event, language. With that energy and initiative guiding the group, risk-taking felt a little more accessible. We’re all growing and healing in one way or another. When this growth and healing happen in a community where you feel safe and seen, you also feel affirmed and supported.

The more we connect in community to realize that we are not alone in our insecurities, the more we come together to support individual and collective growth. The more we realize how capable we are despite our doubts, the more we know that we were always enough. 

Practice

A strategy that I find helpful in taking those baby steps towards addressing insecurities is to always show up. There is no flexibility in whether I do or don’t show up to get better at working towards my goal. And yet, I give myself all of the flexibility in how I show up.

My gym of choice is currently Orangetheory Fitness (an unpaid endorsement, but if they want to discuss, I’m all ears 😂), and the running section of the classes uses three terms to have each person check in with themselves to determine what today looks like for them specifically. 

• Base is your foundation. It’s challenging yet doable—something you can sustain while still engaging in conversation. This is where your body learns to build endurance and can change daily.
• Push takes it up a notch, elevating your heart rate. It’s meant to “push” you out of your comfort zone, but in a controlled way, and this is where you get faster.
• All Out is exactly what it sounds like—a full effort where you give everything you’ve got. It’s about stepping into that very uncomfortable zone for that final surge across the finish line.

The point being that everyone is different, and on any given day, I may be different from my yesterday self and almost certainly different from my future self. Therefore, today’s base may look different from yesterday’s. I may have stayed up late working on a project, hanging out with friends, or taking care of my kid, and that is okay. At least I showed up for myself. Similarly, there are days when we all wake up feeling energized, communicative, and ready to take on the world. Those days may have more intensity to contribute towards your base, push, and all-out. 

Conclusion

At the end of the day, no one but you knows who you are, what you are going through, and what you are capable of. Therefore, it is essential to check in with yourself each time you arrive. Ask yourself what you need today.

But showing up? That is a non-negotiable if we want to see and feel better than before. So figure out where you feel comfortable showing up. Be grateful to yourself for showing up. Be compassionate with yourself through the changes. And most of all, be proud of yourself for getting out of your comfort zone, being uncomfortable, and growing into an even more communicative, expansive, and connected version of yourself.

If you are looking for a place to show up, I host two free virtual offerings.

• Spanglish Sessions Tuesdays 6-7 pm ET
• Intentional Listening Sessions (4th Wednesdays this Fall)