I was listening to a TikTok that said, “If you were as audacious as you were perfectionist, you could have everything you wanted and more,” and wow 😳. 

It made me think of all the limitations we place on ourselves to even get started. We inflict stress upon ourselves to “get it right” and be “perfect”, as though that is even an achievable goal. 

And yet, since language is constantly evolving, our idea of what is right versus wrong is constantly shifting and becomes impossible to attain. And that gives us freedom to be audacious in our use of language. 

Context

Going back to the blog that I wrote a few weeks ago reflecting on language expectations (click here to read), we often limit our audacity. We may limit ourselves in response to others’ judgments of our language use, and/or trauma we have experienced related to how people perceive our use of language in or out of alignment with what they believe our identity to be. But what others perceive and believe, is not who we are.

Practice

So, let’s do a quick thought experiment that I have discussed many times in one-on-ones and consistently see visible shifts in perspective on how language expectations are relative to the speaker and listener’s language understanding and confidence. 

Question #1

When you practice a new language, not connected in any way to your self-identity, and you make mistakes, does it put you into an existential crisis? 

Example: You identify as Latina and decide to learn Polish. You make a mistake practicing Polish with a restaurant owner. Does that make you less Latina?

No, we understand that learning a new language is a skill that must be developed. Also, “why would I know that, I’ve never learned this language until now”. Removing the weight of expectations helps us remember that only by doing will we be able to access the language that we are working to use.

Question #2

When you make a mistake in your dominant language(s), does it destroy your confidence and cause you to retreat into silence, never to speak again? 

Example: You say, “Irregardless.” (Listen here to me checking myself on judgment towards this word.😬)

No, we have enough confidence in our ability to use the language that we can either defend our language choices, that’s how we say it in (insert location/culture). Maybe we learn a new grammar rule. Maybe we say that you don’t care to say it “properly”.

But, when we practice a language that is connected to how we identify, and we make a mistake, we tend to shut down. We determine that we are not fit to represent our language and culture. Blame our parents, circumstances, and anxieties for not having mastered the language by this age. 

Conclusion

I recall being in my high school Spanish classes, where I saw my non-Spanish-speaking peers use the language playfully and without reservations, audaciously, one might say. 

I’ve seen tourists in Puerto Rico, Spain, and Mexico use Spanish without hesitation, knowing I had far more vocabulary and grammar experience. Still, I would practice what I was going to say 50+ times before I would say it, so I “sounded” like I “belonged”. 

Now looking back, me da pena. I was waiting for someone to validate my identity through the use of language, but what I wish I had known is I was always who I said I was. Regardless of how I spoke. And how many moments of connection did I miss because I was worried about how I would be perceived? 

It took me a long time to realize no amount of “perfecting” the language would help me escape those insecurities. But I was able to step into my audacious Spanish-speaking self once I realized that. 

I share two language lessons so you can jump into using language audaciously.

1) Use language “a tu manera”. It is a tribute to your unique experiences and background.

2) Let go of a perfectionist mindset. It doesn’t serve your linguistic or personal growth. And most importantly, it’s not as much fun.

Have the audacity to speak in your own voice, to share your unique language skills with the world.