Es oficial mi gente. The start of November marks the beginning of the holiday season, especially si eres Boricua. Cue Asalto Navideño y coquito because “tis the season”. 

Context

While we love the food, the drink, and time with family, the flip side is that, love it or hate it, family can be triggering. The holidays are full of catching up, “has rebajado”, “has engordado”, “no tienes novio”, and of course, “así no se dice” or “sólo en español”. Which can be daunting, especially if you don’t feel confident in your language skills to begin with. 

Practice

Here are a few strategies to keep in mind so you can not only survive the holidays with family but also enjoy yourself and focus on connection with those you love. 
 
Practice ahead of time.
We are a few weeks out from Sangivin (Acción de Gracias) and more than a month from the December/January holidays, so take this time to practice thinking and speaking in the specific language and language variety that you will be engaging with on the holidays.

A few minutes every other day goes a long way further than a cram sesh a week before your vacation, when you want to — and often need to — just rest and relax.

Establish your boundaries
Your family may have known you your whole life. But we are constantly growing and changing, so share what is new with them so they can stay aware of your learning and language goals.

If you would like to use more of your Spanish than in past years, share that goal with your family. If you have decided to raise your kids speaking Spanish and want them to practice it with your family, share that goal with them. If you have specific times and spaces where you practice certain languages, share that with the people around you.

Since we have limited time with family during the holidays, we want to jump into the connection. However, understanding how you feel most comfortable connecting will help make the process smoother for all parties.

Listen
Conversations are a two-way street. Take the time to listen attentively and compassionately. This takes some of the pressure off you as a speaker, allowing you to learn more about another person and different ways of communicating.

Use your full linguistic repertoire.
There is no rule that you can only use one language at a time. Take some of the pressure off yourself, remembering that you are not lacking in speaking more than one language at a time. It is actually a brilliant representation of your multilingual/multicultural reality.

Conclusion

Enjoy the process. Remember that most people don’t know about language learning; they just have opinions about it. Your language is yours to claim, celebrate, and use in a way that uniquely and joyfully reflects you.